All Aboard!

Day 3 of our Branson adventure started out bright and early as we had reservations to ride the Branson Scenic Railway and needed to be there by 8:30.  We planned to ride in one of the scenic cruiser cars and figured we needed to ride the first train of the morning before those glass-top cars got too hot under the bright summer sun. Very smart, if I do say so myself! The a/c was just barely able to keep up with the heat even when the early morning temp was just in the 70's,  it rained several times and was overcast most of the ride. I'm sure they are unbearable during the heat of the day in full sun.

After getting our tickets and while standing in line with about 100 other fine folks, a favorite way to pass the time is people watching. Other than pretty females, I'm mostly drawn to the older folks. I like to try and figure out how old they are and what kind of life they've led; the things they've seen; the things they've done; the things they've had to endure. If the wait is long enough or the person or couple is interesting enough, I make up life stores to go along with them. Sometimes, if they are standing close, I'll try to strike up a conversation with them, add some truths to the story in my head.

Sometimes you see someone who looks like someone. Within the last few months I've seen lookalikes for Dustin Hoffman, John Goodman, Matt Damon, and a young Jeff Bridges. Most of the time it's "Hey look! It's that girl who was in that movie we liked and then she had a bit part in that television show that got cancelled after 4 episodes and then she did that feminine products commercial. Remember?" Behind me on the platform this day was the world's worst Elvis impersonator! What do you think? Maybe if you are really bored and squint your eyes just right?

Youngest-daughter and her dad riding the rails.

Besides the heat factor in the scenic cars, taking the first trip of the day is advised because there is a smaller crowd. The train consists of several "regular" passenger cars, a lounge car with seats that recline, 3 scenic cruiser cars with the ceilings made of mostly glass, a car with tables and chairs, and a dining car. All together there are about 350 seats. This is important to remember for what I'm about to say. I'll come back to it later. The trip goes south through the Ozarks and into the mountains and forest of northern Arkansas and takes about 1 hour and 45 minutes.  It really is a very pretty excursion. 2 adult tickets (1 with senior discount) and 1 child ticket costs $73.47. There were about 150 passengers on this trip.  We were in the 2nd group to board so had an easy time getting to the last scenic car and choosing our seats. I wanted a window seat so I could take pictures, youngest daughter wanted a window seat to see out easily, and momma-woman didn't really care so we ended up in the 2-abreast seats with the girls sitting together and me by myself.

If the sun is out, this car get's hot!

There were 24 seats in our car. When we left the station, there were 16 other people in the car with us - 19 people for 24 seats. The last 3 people who joined us just before we left on our journey were, well, there's no way to sugar coat it, they were big people. And when I say big, I'm talking really big; big as in Biggest Loser show contestant big. The wife wasn't as large, but Dad was well over 400 pounds and the 15-year-old son had to be at least 275.

Remember I said there were about 350 seats for 150 butts? Well, guess where the son chose to sit. Next to me, of course. Are you kidding me?! Is this some kind of cosmic joke? Is God up there going, "I feeling bored today. I think I'll screw with Ken. That's always good for a laugh or two." I may not be the most sensitive guy walking around, but I'm not a total lout and feel a level of compassion thinking about the health and social and personal issues overly large people face, but really, come on, all of these open seats and the kid has to sit next to me?!! If I sit as close to the wall as possible, suck it in and hold my breath and scrunch my shoulders so close together in front of me that they almost touch, then only the side of my ass is touching him. And he is sweating; profusely. Now I'm trapped. There's no way to get past him and change seats without him having to get up and let me out and if I do change seats, then he will know why and I will have hurt his feelings. He's just a kid, a really, really, large kid, but a kid nonetheless and kids need to be protected and guided and helped along on the road to adulthood so I resolve to stay scrunched up for a while, at least until enough time has passed that I can make like I'm going to cruise the rest of the train and leave the kid with his dignity.

Going over a bridge. It had just started to rain
 - you can see rain drops on the window.

Fortunately, it wasn't all that long before the couple who were sitting in the seats behind the kid's parents decided to go to a different car and he moved over there. I could breath again and my butt was no longer touching someone else's so life was good again. As the trip continued, I noticed the physically large family taking pictures of each other so I offered to take a picture of all of them with their camera. We started talking after that and they were very nice. He said he's a fire fighter, but there's no way he could be running in a burning building or climbing up ladders so I guess he must be a chief or something - an office job. By the end of the trip, several of us that stayed in that scenic car were talking, exchanging stories, and taking pictures of each other with their own cameras. If it had been a couple of hours longer, we would have been holding hands and singing campfire songs!

Riding the rails through the Ozarks

As it was, when the train pulled back into the same station we had departed from, we all exchanged smiles and have nice days and be safe in your travels pleasantries as we exited and made our ways back to our own lives and plans; lives and plans that did not include our new found acquaintances. So many people and most of us are pretty decent folks who just need a reason to meet and speak to each other for us to find out that most of us are pretty decent folks. For all of our differences, we have a lot in common.  We'll probably never see any of these people again, but for almost 2 hours we talked, we laughed, we shared and we now have a common experience. Who knows, maybe we'll see the very large daddy and son on Biggest Losers and we'll sit in front of the TV and say, "Hey, that looks like the guys who rode the train with us!"

More Ozarks scenery.

Crossing the Taneycomo Bridge just outside
Branson.



Branson 2

Day 2 of our Branson trip started nice and easy. The hotel's free breakfast wasn't bad - eggs, sausage, waffles, plus the usual cold cereal, muffins, bagels, fruit, juices and coffee. The girls slept in so I had breakfast on my own, read some of a book on my iPad and glanced at the Casey Anthony trial on the TV set up in the dinning room. My take is she's guilty. Hurt a child, be removed from society forever. End of story.

Just as I was throwing my trash away, the girls came down for their feed so I sat back down for a few minutes. Shouldn't have. Somehow the Mamma-woman and I got into a discussion revolving around politics, something we know better than to do, but occasionally fall into that trap in spite of our best efforts. I soon determined it would be best to get on back to the room so that's what I did. Later this year will be our 20th anniversary and we've been together almost 23 years. Over that time we've managed to usually figure out when it is advisable to say, "Love ya, Babe. Catch ya later" and retreat to our respective corners.

After reviewing about a hundred shows, Youngest-daughter decided she wanted to see Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede because there are horses in the show and she likes Dolly Parton. Dolly wouldn't be there herself, but the horses would and the 3:00 show wasn't sold out so that's where we decided to go. The show comes with a meal and we were still full from breakfast so no need for lunch. Mamma-woman wanted to go shopping and visit the local scrap book store so off she went while Youngest-daughter and I stayed in the room. Watched a little TV, fiddled around on the Internet, took a nice nap. Hey, I'm liking this vacation just fine so far!

Our super-duper collectible plastic
souvenir boot cup.

The wife came back to pick us up and off to the Dixie Stampede we did go. We arrived in time for the pre-show show and got a Pepsi in our free top-quality, highly desirable, extremely collectible plastic souvenir boot cup. The pre-show show was actually pretty darn good. There was a guy who juggled and told a few jokes, but what he did best was balance stuff on his head and face. I guess you had to have been there. Then his step-son, the super-duper fantastic juggler came on. Now that kid was amazing! He has a couple of Guinness Book of Records medals to prove it. He only juggled for about 15 minutes, but we all really enjoyed him. Heck, I'd pay to see a show with him as the headliner.

Afterwards, we were led into what can only be described as a somewhat upscale rodeo arena. We got lucky and sat in the very front row. Well, lucky kind of. It was a pretty decent show with a few comedy skits, lots of horses and other animals. It was mostly a contest between the North and the South, the Yankees and the Rebels. Guys and gals dressed in gray and blue competed in games of skill on horseback and in races with show skits, singing, and special effects in-between the contests.  While all of this was going on, we were served chicken, ham and half of a baked potato. I didn't like the fact that our hands served as silverware. If you have a sandwich or pizza or some other kind of finger food, no silverware is no big deal, but greasy chicken, slabs of ham and a hot baked potato is not finger food in my book. I would have thought maybe they could have afforded silverware with the money they saved on those Made in China souvenir boot cups, but no...

While eating we found out why getting on the front row may not have been as lucky as previously thought. We were certainly close to the action - a bit too close. The horses would ride right up to the railing and stop about 2 feet from us. The arena floor was, of course, dirt. When horses run at speed and stop litterly inches from you, the dirt and dust flies. When buffalo wallow in the dirt  a few feet from you, the dirt gets thrown in the air around you. The white meat of your chicken tends to get a bit dark and taste a bit gritty.

Our illegal picture.

I wish we could have taken a few pictures, but no pictures or video was allowed. When we sat down before the show started, I snuck a quick shot of the girls for posterity. The couple behind us just happened to take a picture at the same time and got busted. One of the waiters came over and let them know in no uncertain terms pictures were not allowed. We, however, skated free and clear. Snicker, snicker.

The show was entertaining and pretty much worth the money. By the end, the South had won 10 - 6. Hooray for us! We exited the building into painfully bright sun and air seemingly from a hot oven.

We returned to the hotel, lazed around for a while and then enjoyed the Jacuzzi and pool for a while. The Jacuzzi water was a bit hot even for me, which meant it was scalding for the girls and most of the other guests who tried it. The pool water was cold enough to take my breath away at first, but I forced myself to get in deeper and eventually it wasn't so bad I couldn't stand it. None of the kids seemed to mind the cold water, but they never do even when their lips turn blue. After an hour or so, we made our way back to the room, washed the chlorine off our bodies, hit the sack and quickly sank into sleep. Tweren't a bad day at all.

Off To Branson!

The night before, we followed our lists and checked off each item as we packed our bags and threw them in the back of our soccer-mom-mini-van-family-vacation-Honda vehicle.

House/pet sitter arranged - check.
Clothes - check.
Personal hygiene items - check.
Swimming stuff - check.
iPad - check.
3 laptops - check.
My camera gear - check.

Youngest-daughter and the Mamma-woman are all excited, but go to bed and promptly fall asleep. I'm not so excited and lay in bed, not thinking any great earth-shaking thoughts or even the soul searching questions we all are prone to agonize over in the middle of the night when we are all alone with our thoughts and doubts and regrets in the darkest hours.  I was just laying there listening to the night-time house noises, trying to figure out what made each one and making sure my damaged heart was still beating with some sort of frequency. The last time I looked over at the clock it was 1:47AM and I thought, "If I fall asleep right now, I can get 5 hours and 13 minutes in before the alarm goes off." It had been 9 minutes since I last looked.

I awoke at 6:27AM, 33 minutes before the alarm would start blaring. I don't know why I spent money on an alarm. It gets set all of the time, but I can't remember the last time it actually went off before I woke up and switched the switch. After a quick shower and throwing a couple of last minute things in the car, I woke up Mamma-woman. Her excitement level was evident as I only had to ask her twice to get up before she did. It only took once telling Youngest-daughter to get up. Amazingly, it didn't take all that long for us to have all of the last minute items loaded and ourselves in the car and at 8:45 exactly, like a herd of turtles, we were off to the nearby town of Conway to do a couple of errands, fill up with gas and head north to Branson, MO.

Last year we went to London. This spring I purchased a new 4-wheeler for Youngest-daughter. In between, I was single-handedly providing the hospital with its annual profit and paying for an in-ground pool for every doctor in the county while wife & daughter ensured the recession was over for our local businesses. In short, I am now financially embarrassed, so this year's vacation, while not a stay-cation, is a near-cation. Branson for a few days and then a short little road trip to check out a few old water-powered mills in the area and back home. Branson is ok, but we've been there, done that and if you know me, you know I usually do not enjoy revisiting a place unless it is some kind of an awesome nature place like Big Bend or Arches or Yellowstone. Branson does not fall into that category.

I was soon driving all alone with the Mamma-woman and Youngest-daughter in the car with me, but the drive north on Hwy 65 from Greenbrier is a nice little drive of a couple of hours over mountains and through valleys. Good thing the scenery was nice so I didn't need company or conversation to keep me awake. Soon enough, the GPS told me it was time to exit. The girls woke up when I slowed down and we were in Branson. Us and, by my conservative estimate, at least 1/2 of America. I haven't seen so many cars in one place since I was in New York City a couple of years ago. From one side of Branson to the other is about 4 miles. It took almost an hour to get to our hotel which, of course, was located on the other side of town. The broken down motor home on the steep uphill 1-lane road didn't help. When we finally passed it, the large amount of fluids below it indicated a blown engine. Poor guy.

The view from our room.

We finally made it to The Hampton Inn, a decent choice between price and quality which meets my requirements for a family stay - safe, clean, Internet connection, free breakfast. Youngest-daughter was happy when she found out Disney was included as a TV channel and there's a pool. Jacuzzi for Dad - bonus! We were several hours early, but I flashed my gold-colored Hilton Honors card and they checked us in to a room which had already been cleaned. The view wasn't exactly the best, but it was clean, had a nice flat-screen TV, a good air conditioner and two queen beds - early birds that are taken care of can't complain.

The Landing Shopping Strip

After transferring stuff from the car to the room, resting up a bit and looking through some brochures, we decided to head on down to the Landing shopping center to eat and see what we could see. We fought the traffic going back the other way this time and saw a heavy-duty wrecker towing that disabled motor home. It only took about 40 minutes to get to the other end of the strip. We managed to find an open parking space about 1/4 mile from the stores (how many people are here in Branson for goodness sake?!!) and worked up an unwanted sweat walking the blacktop parking lot in the 98 degrees and full sun. We cut through Bass Pro Shops for the A/C it offered and after a few hundred more feet walking in partial shade, we entered Cantina Laredo.

Disappointment. The hot sauce wasn't spicy at all and who serves green string beans with a chili relleno dish? Not anybody from Texas, that's for sure. When the menu says beans in a Tex-Mex place, I expect re-fried or black beans. Evidently an unrealistic expectation. We had another surprise when we walked out of the eatery - rain! It cooled things off a bit for the 20 minutes or so the water fell, but then the clouds departed, the sun returned, the heat returned, and about 98% humidity came with it. We kept window shopping, but entered a few stores we normally wouldn't have to take advantage of the cool air inside.

Kimberling City July 4th Festival

After sweating out any extra calories we ingested eating our share of chips and salsa (I said the sauce wasn't hot, I didn't say the taste wasn't acceptable), we ambled back to the car and headed to the town of Kimberling City a few miles outside of Branson. They were having a 4th of July festival with what was touted as a good fireworks show. We didn't have specific directions and we were headed where we had never been before, but we had no problems finding the place as we just followed other cars once we got within a couple of miles and followed the signs as we got close. $5 to park (money helps pay for the fireworks) on the side of a grassy field and we were at the festival.

A daughter and her daddy playing Frisbee.

It was a nice little event - nice folks, jump houses for the kids, food vendors, parents and kids playing Frisbee, people sitting in lawn chairs visiting and listening to a good band playing good music. Lots of smiling faces. The All-American festival.

We ambled along, looking around, listened to a few songs by the band and made our way across a store parking lot to a high hill overlooking Table Rock Lake. That's where a bunch more folks were sitting in lawn chairs and we had heard the fireworks show would be over the lake so we found a good place and plopped ourselves down. We sat next to a man & his wife, 4 girls who looked to be between 12 & 14 and a little boy of about 3 with long hair. I wasn't sure he was a boy until I finally figured out 2 of the girls were the daughters of the adult couple and Amber, who was taking care of the little one is a niece. I never did figure out the other girl, maybe just a friend of Amber, but I overheard enough to know the little 3-yr-old was a boy named Dudley. Dudley? Really? Guess it's a family name or something. First person I've ever heard actually named Dudley. Calling a 3-yr-old Dudley seemed kind of wrong somehow.

The band had a really good horn section!

Anyway, once the dark settled in, the fireworks commenced and as fireworks shows go, it was pretty darn good! They were shooting from a platform in the water and those things shot up plenty high enough way above the hill most folks were watching from. There was a patriotic music sound track to go along with the show and a number of people had their radio's tuned to the station and playing it loud enough for everyone to hear. Great ending with lots going off one right after the other. Nice show.

When it was all over, we easily made our way back to the car. Getting out took a while, but people were being nice and letting people on the side cut on in to the line. I got carried away in the spirit and let a few in myself. We finally made it back to the hotel about 11:00pm. Washed up a bit, brushed my teeth like a good boy and fell exhausted into bed. Good view or bad view from our window, it didn't matter as I didn't look even once before closing my eyes. No problem getting to sleep this time!